Lord I give You my life…

Have not written in two years. Honestly, I was wondering if this site even still exist. Well, I guess it does. It was a hard year last year, many trials, many mistakes, many disappointments but a midst the dark clouds, rays from the sun still shined in.

I opended my new year with having close friends at my new condo. We watched the fireworks from the balcony. It was wonderful! It was like first time in a long time we were able to watch fireworks on new years day. On the 1st of Jan, the leaders had a brain stoming meeting in Genting View Apartments. It was indeed wonderful, much time was spend talking and brainstorming on ways to improve the church.  Personally I spend a lot of time by myself during the ‘free’ times. I walked around the area thinking about the pass year, thinking about the new year and thinking about what my actions should be. If there was one thing I learned thgoughout the whole time in the brainstorming session – it was making right decisions.

What are right decisions and how do we know the decision we make is correct or not? I pen down this – the decision made must at the end bring about more oppurtunity to serve God and to make Him happy. I was struggling with an issue for a few weeks, having a choice to turn right of left, but not knowing what anyone of the outcome would be. A lot of weighing and thinking was made, pros and cons of both roads were considered.  A decision was needed to be made. I choose the road that I was sure would be able to give me the oppurtunity to make God happy. Yes, one might say, how would you know if the other road does not give you the same oppurtunity? Thats precisly my point! I don’t know. And I won’t know, but I know by choosing this road, I have that – oppurtunity to serve God without obstructions.

I met with an accident this morning, was traumatic for me cause for some really unknown reason, I have met with quiet a number of accidents recently. Its never cheap to meet with accidents and it sure does give me a lot of stress. I was really down but much better now. Throughout the morning till afternoon I had a line of a song from one of my fav singers – “I look above and I know that I have always been blessed with love”. I may not know the reason of it all on why what happened to day happened, but I know God’s there and I have been blessed with love – His Love.

it would be nice to be fed every once in a while instead of always having to feed

at last, after about three weeks, i slept for about seven hours

i recently took out a book from my cupboard. turned to the first page, the date was 6th aug, 1995. its been more than 14 years. i remember i never really finished the book last time, but i remember very clearly what it was about. partly being the influence of some dear brothers who told me about the outline of the book, the other part was to the extend i read it….. i think only half way.

i remember that i had atempt a few times to finished up that book, i just couldn’t…… i really don’t like reading, has never been my passion. i’m a music or tv or movie kindda person. anyway, back to the book. the pligrim’s progress – that is the title of the book. another reason why i never could have finished the book was because it was just plain down boring. but ironically, the book talks about an illustration of a person called christian and his journey from a sinner to a person who was ernestly seeking after the gate of eternal life. throughout that journey, christian met a lot of people, people who discourage him on his journey, people who seemed to have encourage him, people who rejected him and also people who followed him but after a while fell off – he was still at the end, left alone.

a christian life is really something like that, we meet many people, some encouraging, some not, some out to build you, others to kill you, the list goes on and on….. but essentially the walk of a christian is your own walk. i’m in no way preaching a gosple of loniness (if there ever is such a term) but a gosple that talks about your own personal walk with God. many people can encourage or teach you the way to go, but that road still has to be walked by you.

i am inspired to write this because of a conversation i had with a dear brother. the christian walk is monotonous in many times of our life – thats because we abandon the first reasons of accepting our good faith – the passion to know this one and only true God.

so be encourage to continue on the walk, like in the words of the beetles – its a long and winding road….

lastly, what diffrenciates a hypocrate and a christian? one does not bother, the other admits his sin and trys to change

justVince

none spoken,  none said

like every other tuesday morning, i woke up without the need of the alarm. when along with my normal chors and prepared to leave. today was different, a very different day, and i was to find that out only later in the morning.

proceeded to the car and drove off. destination – gleneagles ampang. doctor’s appointment, suppose to be my first physiotherapy but ended up a life changing event. i arrived, took the lift to the first floor and walked to the clinic. pressed the door bell. a few seconds passed, the clicking sound of the magnetic door realease was heard and so i pulled the handel and openned the door and walked in. i greated the nurses and gave them my appointment book. that was a joke, my appointment was suppose to be 19th of june!!! not 16th june!!! fortunately, the doctor was not really that busy so i waited for about 10 minutes and saw the doctor.

he looked at me and stared blank for a few seconds (probably trying to remember if he had ever seen me before) and then only looked at my details. after a minute or so, he started to remember and in about 2 minutes, he could totally recall the reason i was there – physiotherapy. he started by asking me how i was and how was the hand, we moved on to stretching my hand just a little while and after which, he told me to sit down back at my seat. he proceeded to tell me something which still has me really feeling really sad.

dislocations at the age of 20 and above are usually something which is not dangerous. in fact, people who experience dislocations above the age of 20, rarely get a reaccurance. but that was not the problem. it was the pain i felt when he lifted my hand above the shoulder. it was that pain that made me worried and still worrying.  two weeks after the occured insident, the muscles should have all be properly healed. then why still the pain? the tear of the tendon, and that is the main probelm. i may never be able to climb again. that, to many may seem to be a small problem but to me, does cost a lot. i’ve always since i can recall, 8 years old have been climbing. ya, i did fall a few times, actually many times, but never has that killed my spirit of climbing. and now, the thought of not being able to climb ….. no words to really express, or can’t think of any. the amount of out-door activities which would require the use of my hands, i will not be able to do. the night climbs on communication towers to look at the stars in the middle of the jungle, i will not be able to do. the climbings of trees or structres during camps, i will not be able to do.

ya so many people will be making fun of me, laughing at me and i might be the joke for the next year or so…. i will be able to over come that, but to imagine the fact that my life will be with out anymore climbing….. that is something i am still trying to accept. its a sad day indeed!

justVince

sigh……..

wow…. have not written in about 5 months. been thinking of doing so but just never really got a hand of doing it.

life have been really busy the pass few months. work and church is enought to jam my life with non stop actions and not stop dramas.

having a blog can be pretty cool, the best place to express, speak out, curse… what ever it may be, but i believe that its important to remember that people do read what we write. let that be a reminded for all of us “bloggers”, let us be wise with our words and “expressions”, less we stumble a soul

last saturday i was reminded of this one very important thing, we were watching a documentary on the following mission trips of Jim Elliot. how from the killing of 5 men lead to the salvation of an entire tribe. what stroke me the most was the question a brother asked: – what are we doing in our lives today? does it matter at the end of the day?

got me really thinking, cause many times, we tend to get to busy with every other thing but missing the mark. today i like argued with a sister… at least thats what i think it was. over, to me, was something not even worth an argument. i was sad and angry… then again, it just stuck me, being both sad and angry, how does it help in making or doing something that matters before God. this pass month, i’ve been having a lot of negative scenes pushing in and out of my head on arguments which i should be having with people because of things that happen….. again, *whack* *whack* *whack* how, if really the arguments came about, does that ever help in the building of the people of the Lord? nothing happens by chance, everything has a purpose and in every situation we are at, there is something which we can learn to better ourselves. work has been so busy and many times, without me really knowing, i spend a lot of time thinking about work related stuff, which keeps me in a semi-blur look thats pondering into a varse empty space.

my point: – many things happen in our lives, work or church or personal family matters, busy or non busy, sad or happy, life still goes on, like it or not, things happen. the important thing is how are we responding to these events? at the end of the day, we still will never be able to run away from that question, so better we embrace it now, then trying to run away from something that is already infront of us. How do we react in our daily lives which would in eternity make a difference for us?

indeed, such words are words of wisdom :- what we do today, echoes in eternity.

what say you?

justVince

its going to be a really busy week! aaaarrggghhhhhhh……….. exiciting but never the less busy.

i’m actually writing this on my new ikea white table… it looks cool! i like it, only thing that is missing now is a fan in my study room – that would complete it! maybe next month…… looking forward to get the small metal looking fan……

now, only a few more things and the house is 100% done up!

1. the fan

2. the bathroom sink

3.  fix up the cloth hanger i just bought today!

4. more plants….

5. my aquarium….. please??? pleaseeeeeee………

ok, i need to get back to my tender…. so little time, so little help!

justVince

been so long since i last…. been too long since i last. just came back from johor, such a tiring schedule. left to johor yesterday evening, arrived there close to 12, checked into a sleeze hotel with the other guys and when straight to bed…. that also was not a plesant one with all the orchestra background…..

today was a day after so long, i climbed a communication tower, was kindda fun after the long break from it. i really enjoy being up at the top where the wind blows never ceasingly and the view is breath taking. i enjoy it cause its just me alone, nobody to disturb, no stress, all peaceful…. its like… you know, it reminds me of the water below, nothing you can hear but your own breath, NO PHONE CALLS!!!!, no troubles, just you and yourself, swimming through the waters looking at colors which you would never get on land….. that was really nice.

but… i’m back home, and life continues on… tomorrow another busy day, have to meet up a customer at 8 am…. thats a killer having to wake up so early, especially all the days where i wake up after 9.

some times, no most of the time! really there is just not enought time.

hey,

i do wonder whats it all like up there, there where you are, how fortunate that you get to leave and be there faster… not that in eternity any of this would matter – there where there is no time. but still i can’t but imagine how it would all be.

here’s to you, and thanks for the advise, cheers!

justVince